


Hold Me Til I Wake, Then Just A Moment Longer

by alexygalaxy



Series: Widojest Week 2019 [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, not that much angst tho its just caleb being caleb, slight spoilers thru ep 56
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 02:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19781662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexygalaxy/pseuds/alexygalaxy
Summary: Beau finds a, ahem, companion for the night, which means Jester has to room with Caleb instead, and boy howdy wouldn't you know it there's only one bed.





	Hold Me Til I Wake, Then Just A Moment Longer

**Author's Note:**

> yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet widojest week day FIVE baby: there's only one bed!!!
> 
> gang? things are about to get SNUGGLY. get ready for casual body contact that causes everyone involved to nearly die bc they're crushing so bad. enjoy!!

Fjord tipped his cup back, draining the last dregs of ale from it, and set it back down heavily. 

“That,” he drawled, “is enough for me tonight. I’m gonna head up to Caduceus. Y’all enjoy the rest of the night, and _don’t_ get your coin purses robbed again.”

A small chorus of “bye”s and “g’nights” trailed off the table as Fjord pushed back his chair and stepped away, leaving only Beau, Caleb, and Jester still drinking. Caduceus had retired fairly early in the evening, hoping for some time alone to speak with the Wildmother. Yasha was upstairs with Nott, keeping her company after the goblin decided that drinking milk with Jester in the middle of a tavern was not a very effective way of negating her itch for alcohol. 

Beau swirled her glass around, some dark brown liquid sloshing up the sides as she spoke. 

“Ok, now that Fjord’s gone,” she began, words slightly slurred, “I got a question for you all. Fuck, marry, kill -”

Caleb cut her off with a loud and pained groan.

  
  
“What, Caleb? If you don’t wanna play you can go upstairs too. I just thought it would be a fun team bonding exercise between parties who might actually enjoy playing.”

“Yeah, Caleb, it’s just a game,” Jester chimed in. Caleb glanced sideways at her before huffing a “ja, fine” and taking a large swig from his cup.

“Thank you Jes,” Beau responded. “Now, fuck, marry, kill: Avantika, the Bright Queen and, uh, who else is hot … Oh! The Gentleman.”

“Beau, NO, that’s my DAD!” Jester screeched, milk spraying out of her mouth and across the table.

“Oh. Huh. Right. My … uh …. My bad.” Beau’s reaction was somewhat mellowed by her level of drunkenness, but most of her distraction came in the form of a particularly attractive elf, whose gaze had caught Beau’s from across the bar while she attempted to wipe spit-milk off of her face. 

Jester’s eyes quickly followed Beau’s, catching a glimpse at the woman. Even in dim light, it was clear she was _hot_. She wore a cloak which had been pulled back to reveal her face, strong and angular, as was characteristic of most elves. Beneath the cloak, she wore some kind of leather armor that hugged her chest and pulled up into a high neck, but left her arms completely uncovered. There was a longbow resting against the chair she sat in. She pushed a lock of white blonde hair out of her face as she stared at the ruckus that was the Mighty Nein’s table. She tipped her glass ever so slightly in their direction before looking away.

“ooooOOO!” Jester poked Beau in the side as she teased. “She tipped her glass at youuuu! She thinks you’re cuuuute, Beau!”

“Shut up,” Beau mumbled, hiding her red face in the tabletop. 

“Jester is right, this is the third time tonight we have caught you looking at each other across the room,” Caleb added. 

“You should go talk to her, Beau. We’re not technically on any missions right now, you can afford a fun night,” Jester said, placing her own cheek to the table so she would be level with Beau.

  
Beau simply groaned, still face-down on the wood. 

“Ok, I have a new game,” Caleb started, a hint of mischief in his voice. “Fuck, fuck, or fuck: that girl, the one who keeps looking at you, or the hot elf across the bar.”

Beau’s face lifted up from the table, scowl plastered across it as she looked at Caleb’s tiny shit-eating grin. “Fuck _yourself._ ”

“I have never known you as one to be shy around girls, Beauregard.”

“It’s just weird to flirt with her in front of you guys,” Beau explained, finally returning to a sitting position.

“You did it with Keg,” Jester contradicted.

“Ja, you did. Everyone knew you wanted that girl to eat your pus-"

Caleb was cut off by Beau finishing her glass and slamming it down with a thud.

“I’m going to talk to her,” she said. “So that I can stop hearing you talk about my past flings. And, Caleb,” Beau leaned over the table at him as she stood, “if I ever have to hear you say even part of the word pussy again, I will end you, and then myself.”

“Understandable,” he replied, taking another sip as Beau made her way across the bar to steal a chair across from the elf. 

“Oh my gosh, Caleb, I can’t believe you actually said that,” Jester chuckled as soon as Beau was out of earshot.

“It worked, did it not? I have gotten pretty good at pushing her buttons these past few months.”

Jester gave him a nod of affirmation before attempting to take another sip of milk, only to realize she had used the last of it for a spit take. She had barely set her glass down with a pout before Caleb was asking her if she wanted another.

  
  
“Oh, no, really it’s okay,” she started, but Caleb cut her off.

“The bar is closer to where that elf is sitting. We can eavesdrop on Beau a little.”

“Oh,” Jester said, realization cresting in her voice. “I would love another milk, then. We should go get one from the bar right now.” She giggled slightly as she picked up her empty glass and trailed behind Caleb as he wove around tables. 

“One milk,” he requested of the barkeep, resting his elbows along the bar, “for the lady.”

“Please,” Jester added, rising onto her tiptoes to mimic Caleb’s posture.

The two of them glanced, nearly in unison, towards the table at which the elf, and now Beau, sat. While they were sure she was having a good time and the elf was a genuine flirt, they both watched with a cautious eye. They’d thrown their names in the ring for the war while in Xhorhas, and now that they were back in the Empire, they couldn’t be too careful about making sure they weren’t the subject of any assassination attempts. 

The barkeep set a glass down in front of Jester, and she quietly thanked them, sliding over a silver piece. She brought her attention back to Beau and the elf, who were very much wrapped up in each other’s company. As far as Jester could tell - and she had learned how to pick out shady people who hung around the Chateau pretty well - this girl genuinely just thought Beau was hot. (And honestly, who could blame her. Beau was like, really strong and impressive.) Caleb seemed to come to the same conclusion, as Jester could see the tension in his shoulders release ever so slightly after a couple minutes of observation.

It was at this point that Beau stood up from the table before offering her hand to the elf and guiding her up. Not letting go of her hand, Beau began lead the elf excitedly across the bar and up the stairs to the second floor, where the Mighty Nein’s rooms lay.

“Caleb,” Jester said. “I don’t think I should share a room with Beau tonight.” 

* * *

Upon realizing that the rest of the Mighty Nein who weren’t getting some were probably already asleep, _and_ that they had bought the last free rooms the tavern had open that night, Caleb had offered that Jester share his room for the night, despite the fact that it was only meant for one person. She had accepted, seeing as there were literally no other options, and had let him lead the way up the stairs and down the left hallway. Caleb pushed open the door to his room, holding it with one hand and gesturing Jester forward with the other. She stepped inside, instantly flopping down on the bed. 

“I’m tired,” she announced to the ceiling from her position, starfished across the mattress. 

“I do not blame you,” Caleb said, settling down heavily into the wooden chair which sat opposite the bed “It is nearly twelve forty-eight in the morning.”

Jester was beginning to drag herself to a sitting position. The exhaustion was hitting her harder than she expected, but not enough to keep her from teasing Caleb. “Are you sure it’s not twelve forty-niiiiiiiiine?” 

“Ja.”

Jester scrunched her face in a mock scowl and shook her head in Caleb’s direction, causing the chains on her horns to jingle through the otherwise silent room. Caleb was looking away from her, loosening the buckles on his book holsters, but Jester _might_ have seen a smile spread across his face. She smiled too, just in case she was right.

Now fully sitting on the edge of the bed, she leaned down and unlaced her boots, kicking them off and letting them thud to the floor a few feet away. She reached to her horns, pulling off the silver caps on each side before following the draping chains to where they clasped onto her upper ear, detaching those as well. It was _not_ fun waking up with her hair all wrapped up in her jewelry; she had learned that lesson several times already.

Jester stood then, bare feet slapping on the floor as she stepped towards Caleb. His books were now piled on the table next to him, his holster dropped lazily to the floor beside the chair. He looked up at her as she came close, expression soft and expectant. 

“Can you get my necklaces?” Jester asked, not bothering to wait for an answer before turning around and plopping into Caleb’s open lap.

“J-ja, sure,” he stammered, glad that Jester was facing the other way and could not see how wide his eyes had gotten. Jester brought her arms around the back of her neck, moving her hair for Caleb. It tickled his nose as she pulled it up. Gods, she was close to him.

Caleb’s fingers fumbled, working one by one through delicate little clasps as he actively did not think about how soft Jester’s skin was or how cute the freckles that dusted her shoulders were. Or how his stomach was warm where it pressed into her back, or how she had sat down on his lap like it was nothing, or how she smelled like flowers despite Caleb having never seen her with perfume, or how his hands kept brushing hers while he still couldn’t get this last clasp.

“Here, grab my hair, I’ve got it,” Jester said, tapping at Caleb’s knuckles with her thumbs. 

Dumbfounded, Caleb obliged, placing his hands over hers (also soft, also warm, but he did not think about that either) to hold her hair in place. Jester slipped her fingers free, bringing them to the clasp and pulling it open in a quick second.

“I see my help was not actually needed,” Caleb said, bringing his hands off Jester’s neck and wiping them nervously against his sides.

“Yeah, but I wanted you to do it,” Jester replied matter-of-factly. 

Another thing he was not going to think about. 

She stood up from his lap then, and Caleb let out a breath he wasn’t aware he had begun holding. It was quickly caught in his throat again, though, as Jester made a second request.

“Would you undo the back of my dress too?”

Caleb did not dare reply to that, he was well beyond coherent formation of words. He simply began tugging at the bow around her waist. He placed one hand on her side for counterbalance while he pulled apart the knot with his other, and _absolutely_ did not think about the happy, surprised hum Jester let out. 

“Good?” he asked, voice higher than usual.

“Yes, thank you,” Jester answered, beginning to step away from Caleb, back towards the bed. “Also don’t look,” she added, “I’m gonna change out of this.”

“Would not dream of it,” he said, turning the chair to face the wall and clapping his hands dramatically over his eyes.

“Honestly, Caleb, I’m kind of offended.” There was the sound of fabric hitting the floor, followed by the swish of sheets being lifted. “You can look now!” 

Caleb glanced over, met with the sight of Jester lying sideways underneath the blanket, head propped up on arm while the other draped over her hip, complete with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. He stared for a second before turning towards his pile of books, praying that the light was dim enough to hide his blush.

Jester giggled to herself as she shifted in the bed, turning onto her back and pulling the blankets up to her chin. “Are you coming, Caleb?”

“Oh, ah, I have got some reading to do. Do not stay up for me. I’ll use a dancing light if the lamp is too bright.”

“Sure you do.”

Caleb turned to Jester once again, brow furrowed in confusion.

“You’re planning to sleep in that chair aren’t you,” Jester guessed.

“Nein, I, ah, really do have reading to do,” Caleb answered, turning back to his book.

“I’m not going to sleep until you get in this bed with me, Caleb,” she insisted.

“It is fine, Jester,” he said, still feigning interest in his spells. “The bed is small, and I have slept in far worse places than a chair.”

“Maybe, but you have a far _nicer_ place than a chair right here, and I’m making sure you take it.”

“Really, it is okay -"

“What if we have to fight a dragon tomorrow?” Jester snapped.

“Excuse me?”

“What if we have to fight a dragon tomorrow, and you go to cast some totally cool and powerful spell, like Fireball or something, but then you have a muscle spasm, cause you slept in that stupid chair, and at the last second your arm jerks and you send the fireball at us, huh? What then?”

“That is not going to happen.”

“You don’t _know_ that Caleb.”

“Neither do you.”

“I do know that I’m not going to sleep until you get out of that chair, and I’m oh so tired.” Jester feigned a yawn. “You wouldn’t keep me up would you?” 

“Fine.” Caleb shut his book and stood up from the desk, blowing out the lamp before making his way across the room, feeling for the bed in the dark. Jester shimmied back as he approached, making room for him to get under the sheets. “Happy?”

“Very. Good night, Caleb.”

“Good night, Jester.”

* * *

He was thinking about it, everything he said would not think about. 

The way her skin felt under his fingertips, how gently her thumbs had brushed over his hand, how easily his palm had fit against her hip, how she almost seemed to, somehow, like it. And he’d be more of a liar than he already was to say this was even close to the first time he had been awake in the depths of night, thinking about her like this.

It was dark in the room, and Caleb could barely see, but he was staring at his hand (or rather, the space in the dark where he knew his hand was). He ran a single finger back and forth across his knuckles. They were calloused and rough, protected from the fires he lit on them each day. No matter how light of a touch he tried to use, it didn’t feel anything like when Jester touched him. Her hands were soft and gentle, her grip always calming, even when it was pulling him towards some crazy act of mischief. They were the hands of a healer, and his were … the opposite of that. 

Caleb shivered, racked by memories as well as a terribly cold draft. He hadn’t gotten the chance to take off his pants or his turtleneck before Jester had talked him into getting in bed, which he was actually quite grateful for now. The night air was seeping in from around the window, and Jester had managed to pull the blankets entirely to her side. Caleb didn’t mind of course, she could have them. It wasn’t like he was going to be sleeping much anyways. He was too busy being acutely aware that she was lying just a foot away from him, in nothing but her underwear, snoring just a little, and reminding him of everything he was not supposed to be thinking about.

He was still thinking about those things when Jester’s quiet, even breath began to speed up and grow shaky, and he could hear a small, terrified whimper pass her lips, followed by the sound of her hand clapping over her mouth.

“Jester?” he questioned, keeping his back to her for privacy. “Are you alright?”

“M’fine,” she mumbled into her hand. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“I was already up. Are you sure you are fine?”

“Yeah, totally, I’m all good.”

“You know I am the last person who would judge you for having a nightmare, ja?”

“I - It’s really fine, Caleb.”

“It might help to talk about it.”

Caleb could hear the sound of fabric rustling as Jester turned to face the ceiling. “Really, I’m ok. It was just a scary dream, I’ll be back to sleep in a bit, probably. Don’t even worry about it, ok?”

Caleb hummed noncommittally. Over the course of the next few minutes, Jester’s breathing grew steadier. Caleb might have assumed she was asleep, but her tell-tale snore had not come back yet. He was getting sleepy himself, though. It was harder to think about her when she was awake and next to him, and his brain was finally starting to settle. 

“You were there.” Jester’s voice was a whisper, but it jerked Caleb back to full alertness. 

“In your dream?”

“Yeah.” She seemed distracted as she spoke, like she was carefully measuring how much to share. 

“Sorry.”

“You don’t even know what you were doing in it, Caleb. It might’ve been something really kind or heroic.”

“I just assumed.”

Jester sighed, the sound muffled as she pressed her face into her hands.

“You were charmed,” she explained. “You were charmed and I was trying to get you out of it. But it - it didn’t work.” She took a long, shuddering breath. Her next words were barely audible. “I hurt you.”

“Oh.” 

“I hurt you, Caleb,” she repeated. “I hurt you and I -”

Caleb turned over then, to look at her, or what little he could make out of her in the dimness. She looked so small.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “Just a dream.”

“I know, it was but it - I - what -” she stammered, “what if I really do? What if I hurt you for real? What if I hurt you and you hate me?”

Caleb let out a low chuckle. “Jester Lavorre, I assure you, hate is not a feeling I plan on having about you, no matter what you do to me.”

Jester shoved the heels of her hands into her eyes, pressing down. She let out a shuddering breath, unable to form a response. Caleb’s words sat in a strangely heavy silence.

“I just worry about you guys,” she admitted. “A lot. I’m supposed to be a healer, Caleb, but everyone keeps nearly dying anyways. Or actually dying. I don’t - I don’t want to lose anyone else. I only have one diamond left.”

“Jester, you _are_ a healer. And we are also a lot stronger now than we used to be. And I know I am a weak little string bean, but even I have some meat to my bones. We fight hard fights, yes, but we can handle ourselves. You are a very capable healer, and we have Caduceus now, too. It would take quite a bit to lose one of us. Don’t worry too much.”

As he spoke, Jester twisted onto her side, facing him. She looked at Caleb, taking in the tender smile only visible on him thanks to her darkvision.

“I’ll try,” she said, “but it’s going to be pretty hard to keep me from worrying if you keep shivering like that all night.”

Another shudder racked Caleb as she spoke. He had almost forgotten how cold he was, until Jester pointed it out, and then it became incredibly hard to control.

“I told you, I am a string bean. They get cold easy.”

“Why didn’t you get under the blankets if you were string bean freezing?”

“You took them all.”

Jester looked down at the cocoon of blankets she had managed to wrap herself in. Sure enough, they were pulled harshly to her side of the bed, covering absolutely no part of Caleb.

“Oh. Sorry,” she said, shifting around to pull the sheets out from where she had tucked them under her body and tossing them lazily back in Caleb’s direction.

He made no attempt to get underneath them. “Keep them. I am fine, and you will just pull them off as soon as you are asleep anyways.”

Jester furrowed her brow, then quickly unfurrowed it, knowing Caleb was right. She had always been a Grade A Blanket Hog. 

“Well, I’m not just going to leave you shivering like that, Caleb, that would be very rude of me, especially since this is technically your room and not mine in the first place.” As she spoke, she began to squirm her way across the bed towards Caleb, pulling the blankets with her. 

“What are you -” 

Caleb was silenced by a sheet hitting his face, followed shortly by an arm pressing against his stomach, another arm falling about his waist, and a leg draping over his.

“Can’t steal the blankets if we’re in the same spot,” Jester explained, tugging the blankets fully over the both of them. 

“O - kay,” Caleb managed to spit out after several flustered seconds. 

“Plus, you always could use a hug, especially now ‘cause you’re freezing, and I think I’m very warm and good at hugs so you don’t even get to argue on this one,” Jester mumbled into Caleb’s chest.

Caleb failed to answer, preoccupied with the fact that Jester’s _bare leg_ was on his leg right now, and her _arm_ was on his _waist_ and her _head was touching his chest,_ **_how was he supposed to not think about this?_ **

As it turned out, it was actually very easy to not think about it. He was a lot warmer, both from the blankets and the shared body heat, and Jester’s snoring was oddly comforting, and it was already 2:24 in the morning, so Caleb was asleep much quicker than he thought he would be. He would have plenty of time to think about it in the morning anyways. 

* * *

Caleb was woken by a light series of taps along his knuckles, left by familiarly soft fingertips. He almost didn’t want to open his eyes, for fear of waking up a second time and losing this dream. He did open them, though, and was met with Jester’s only a few inches away. 

“G’morning, Caleb,” she said, still groggy herself. “D’you know what time it is?”

“I will, once I, ah, see the sun,” he said, attempting to roll over and look at the window. He was stopped, however, by Jester’s limbs, which tensed around him and held him back. Because she was still curled up against him; something which had indeed happened last night, Caleb remembered with some shock. The blankets, which he _thought_ was the point of the cuddling, lay in a pool around their ankles, nudged off at some point during their rest.

“Noooooooo,” Jester whined, voice thick and low from sleep. “You’re comfyyyyyyyy, don’t mooooove.”

Gods. Caleb absolutely could not, ever, under any circumstances, think about how much he enjoyed Jester’s morning voice.

He could oblige with her request, however, and stay in bed with her for a few more minutes. Not that he had much of a choice. That girl was strong when she wanted to be. 

He let himself settle back into Jester’s grasp, one hand hovering hesitantly on her hip. Jester hummed contentedly, nestling a bit further into his chest. Caleb let his hand fully relax against her. He could feel her skin where her undershirt had ridden up in her sleep. He let himself think about it for once, how she felt under his fingertips, how close she was to him, how utterly beautiful she was, how badly he wanted to stay like this forever.

“We should probably get up now,” Jester mumbled eventually, words humming through Caleb’s rib cage.

“Will you _let_ me this time?”

“Ugh. Yeah.” Jester rolled onto her back, pulling away from Caleb, before half flopping out of the bed. 

He sat up as well, stretching the sleep out of his arms and back.

“Caleb?” Jester called from behind him.

“Ja?”

“Can I have your coat?”

“For … what?”

“Well, I have to go back to Beau and I’s room so I can get dressed but I’m technically in my underwear so I can’t just walk down the hallway like this, and it’ll take way too much time to put on my dress from yesterday and then take it off again, so I need your coat to wear instead,” she explained, moving around the bed towards the chair where Caleb’s coat lay, unmoved from yesterday.

“Oh. Ah, sure, take it,” Caleb said, gesturing at the coat she was already reaching for. 

Jester picked it up excitedly, slipping her arms inside. It was too long for her, the bottom managing to touch the floor beside her feet. She spun around once before posing and flicking the edges behind her dramatically. “How do I look?”

“Good,” was all that Caleb could muster, though it certainly was an understatement for how he felt, looking at Jester, standing before him, blue skin dappled with morning sun, hair a little tussled, wearing only her underwear, and _his_ coat. He could look at her like this forever and be satisfied.

“Mhm!” Jester hummed her approval, gathering her jewelry from off the table in one hand. She stepped across the room, grabbing the dress and boots she had dropped the previous night in her other. “I’ll bring it back once I’m dressed, don’t worry, Caleb,” she said as she reached the door. “Oh, and thank you for letting me stay the night.” With that, she slipped out and into the hallway.

Holding Caleb’s coat closed as best she could, and trying not to drag it along the ground too much, she scurried towards the room that she had been intending to share with Beau. She knocked on the door a few times.

“Beau. Beau! It’s me, can I come in, are you decent?”

“Jes?” Beau called back. “Yeah, one second, I’ll get the door.”

The sound of muffled footsteps approached the door, the handle turned, and Beau leaned out to greet Jester. 

“Good mor-” Beau’s mouth dropped as she got a glimpse of Jester, and more specifically, what she was wearing. Jester shoved her way into the room, squirming past Beau whose mouth had yet to close.

“I see we both had interesting bedfellows last night,” Beau commented, shutting the door behind her. 

“Shut up, Beau!” Jester said, dropping her things in a pile on the bed, and reaching for the bag of holding to get a new outfit. “It’s not like _that_.”

“Then why are you wearing his clothes?” Beau asked, leaning over Jester’s shoulder.

“‘Cause I didn’t want to walk back here in just my underwear and he’s nice and he let me take it.” Jester shrugged away from Beau, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, so you were in just your underwear with him?”

“Well, I didn’t want to sleep in my dress, ok. We didn’t even do anything, we just shared a bed.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really. That’s it. Nothing romantic.”

“Alright, fiiiine. I believe you.”

“Thank you, Beau.”

“You’re blushing, though.” Jester didn’t have to look at Beau to know her eyebrows were wiggling.

“Shut up!”

“Okay. But Jes? There is no way in _hell_ I’m letting either of you live this down easily.”

Jester grumbled, rolling her eyes, but kept her mouth shut, so as not to give Beau any more ammo to use against her or Caleb at breakfast. She'd have to warn him, she thought, when she dropped his coat off. If Beau made it downstairs to the rest of the Nein before them, this breakfast was going to be _brutal_. That was fine with Jester, though.

Last night? Worth it. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed, as always leave kudos/comments or hit up my tumblr at [cadykeus-clay](https://cadykeus-clay.tumblr.com) if you so wish!!
> 
> and if you're wondering what happened in jester's dream and why she was being so cagey about it, do not fear (or maybe do fear?), that's [tomorrows fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19791829) ....


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